Basic Instructions

A minor change

2008-12-01T02:26:57Z

So, my newly remodeled website is up and running on my new, upgraded server. In a further effort to simplify my life I will no longer be posting comics or news directly to Live Journal, but all of that material can still be accessed via my rss feed at basicinst_feed2.

Basic Instructions started out solely as a Live Journal blog, and I appreciate all my readers here have done for me. Thanks!

It's been way too long in coming.

2008-11-30T00:59:22Z

There will be a major upgrade to basicinstructions.net rolling out within the next day or three.

The downside of this is that the rss feeds you are currently using will stop working. If you wish to continue receiving my feed you'll have to subscribe to the following:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/basicinst

The upgrades to the site include, but are not limited to, the following:

A more reliable server! (No more "out of service" messages every time I post ... hopefully)

Actual, useable, SEARCHABLE archiving!

Comments on the strips themselves, not just the news posts.

Comics and news consolidated in the same page/feed.

Improved navigatability. (if that is a word)

A new look.

Yes, it's a rerun

2008-11-26T23:03:47Z

Sorry about that. The repeat is due to the holiday weekend and a sinus infection.

Have a happy Thanksgiving! I'll be giving thanks for the fact that you all read my comic.

How to Express Condolences

2008-11-26T23:01:15Z

Last Instructions

A kernel of truth

2008-11-24T00:47:52Z

My last two comics each contain a kernel of truth. My cat decided he needed to mew nonstop for an hour or so each night for about a week. He has since stopped.

We were considering getting one of our nephews a toy Indiana Jones bullwhip. Two Christmases ago we got him a Batman mask, but instead of gloves, it came with a chest-plate covered with fake muscles. If you pressed the Batman logo in the middle, it played the most hilarious sound ever made by a toy. A heroic voice would say "Look out, evil doers! I'm Batman!" Then there were sounds that were meant to simulate powerful blows landing Batman exerting himself, but sounded more like Batman being pummeled. Awesome.

Speaking of gifts, you know what makes a great one? MY BOOK!

How to Modify Your Pet's Behavior

2008-11-24T00:30:25Z

Last Instructions

How to Choose a Gift for Someone You Don't Know Well

2008-11-20T02:35:36Z

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How to Suppress the Urge to Kill

2008-11-16T22:26:26Z

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How to Apply the Laws of Physics to Personal Relationships: Vol. 3

2008-11-13T01:08:55Z

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A quick note.

2008-11-10T01:00:32Z

I have very little to say about this strip, except that it's the rare strip where Rick wins one. What can I say, I was feeling magnanimous.

So, as I said a couple of posts ago, I've written a blog post for Powell's Books. It contains another story from my childhood. It is a true story. I fictionalized "the big reveal" a bit for dramatic purposes, but the facts are solid.

So, Christmas is coming up. I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that my book makes a great gift. (I'll be including a sentence similar to this in all posts between now and Christmas. Properly warned, ye be, says I!)

How to Accept a Compliment That's Directed at Someone Else

2008-11-10T00:48:07Z

Last Instructions

Political cartoonists

2008-11-06T14:15:55Z

The most recent strip is about being in a good mood. I happen to be in a good mood these last couple of days, read into that what you will. Those of you who aren't in a good mood have my sympathy because I remember what it's like.

I used to wonder why there were so many political cartoons in the paper. Now I know it's because comic strips are voracious devourers of comedy material. A comic runs through material so quickly that you end up trying to make something almost every idea you have, and during an election season you end up thinking a lot about politics.

I avoid political humor for two reasons. It dates the comic, and more importantly, it makes half of the readers feel unwelcome, and I want everyone to feel welcome at basicinstructions.net.

How to Maintain a Good Mood

2008-11-06T01:18:39Z

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How to Find an Innovative Solution to a Seemingly Intractable Problem

2008-11-03T02:18:32Z

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There are some things you can't un-see.

2008-10-29T23:29:22Z

Lest you think I was making it up, here's an image from the episode of Dirty Jobs in question:

The only thing I lied about in the strip is that on my farm it was pigs who were subjected to this "procedure," not sheep. The same principals apply. I have told this story to many people over the years, and they've rarely called me a liar to my face, but I could tell that few of them ever believed me, because they couldn't bare to.

Next week I will be guest-blogging at Powell's Books. I will be telling an equally bizarre and unbelievable story from my childhood. It is every bit as true as this one.

On an unrelated note, I'm looking at doing another marketing push, and I'm thinking of submitting to a few magazines this time. If any of you know of a magazine you think I'd be a good fit for, please let me know.

How to get Vindication

2008-10-29T23:19:50Z

Last Instructions

How to Analyze a Song

2008-10-26T23:54:19Z

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Man, it's expensive to send stuff to Belgium!

2008-10-22T23:38:50Z

This strip nearly drove me insane. I wrote myself into a corner and it took over a week to figure a way out. Good times.

I got a nice write up over at Comic Book Resources. I gave them an exclusive strip that will only run there. I'm very happy with it.

Have I mentioned that signed copies of my book, and customized infinite t-shirts are now available? I have? Good. I have added international shipping options for the book, and so far the customers who have purchased Infini-Tees have been quite happy with them.

How to Make It Clear That You're Joking

2008-10-22T23:23:43Z

Last Instructions

Delicious

2008-10-20T01:28:03Z

I'd be remiss if I didn't post the clip below, even if only to prove I didn't imagine it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq3V8HR-3rI

(Sorry LJ users. I couldn't get the embed to work.)

My favorite part is the almost apologetic tone of voice he uses to announce the ingredient. My wife and I saw this episode months ago and I can still make her laugh by spreading my arms and saying "piglets" in a mournful tone.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't point out again that signed copies of my book and customized infinite t-shirts are available now.

One last thing, I'm aware that I'm having server problems on a semi-regular basis. You can bypass those issues by viewing Basic instructions at GoComics. Their server is better than mine, and I still get a cut, so you're not harming me by going to them instead of my personal site.

How to Better Yourself

2008-10-19T23:32:36Z

Last Instructions

A brief comment, then BIG NEWS!!

2008-10-18T00:38:28Z

I wasn't sure anybody would follow me on the whole "rodeo clown" thing. I wasn't really convinced the general, urban dwelling public were aware that rodeo clowns really existed. Maybe city-born folk thought of them in the same way as gnomes and gargoyles. The idea that they really exist might be to opposed to reality as they know it to even consider it possible.

Now for the "BIG NEWS." Two items have been added to the Basic Instructions Store. They are as follows:

1. Signed Copies of my book.

Yes, I know it's about time. Anyhoo, I just got my sale copies and now they're available to you, signed by me to the name you specify, for only $20 (That includes shipping).

2. The Infini-Tee customized infinite t-shirt.

The response when I asked for opinions about this product was near unanimous on two fronts. People wanted one, and $30 was way too cheap. I just threw that figure out there before I thought about the amount of work they'd take. I've roughly doubled the price, and broken the process into two steps. Step one, for $40 I draw a custom black and white portrait of you, which I will e-mail to you as a vector PDF that can be printed at practically any size you want. I will also make the portrait into an infinite t-shirt which I will make available to you for purchase. You can choose the specifications you want for the shirt, which will cost between $20 and $30.

It's the simplest system I could devise.

How to Keep Your Job in Perspective

2008-10-16T00:54:05Z

Last Instructions

My biggest brush with controversy yet

2008-10-12T20:37:38Z

So, if my experience is any indication, we can safety assume that people aren't nearly as riled up about politics as they are about operating systems.

For those who are curious, the majority of my e-mail about the Windows Vista strip were people telling me it was funny and that Microsoft should give me money (thanks for the support). The second largest group of e-mails were from Mac users who thought it was funny, but hoped I wouldn't get flooded with hate mail from angry Mac users (Thank's for your support as well).

The smallest group of e-mails I received was angry Mac users who thought I had destroyed my credibility and demonstrated that I was an idiot. There were not many of them. I expected more, to be honest. My theory as to why I didn't get as much hate mail as you'd think is that really good hate mail needs total anonymity, someone who feels faceless sending horrible insults to someone who, to them, is faceless. I am not faceless. My face is all over Basic Instructions.

It's a theory.

So, for the record, my wife and I have both been running Vista for over a year, and it hasn't given either of us any problems to speak of. I know not everyone has had that experience, but we have. Neither of us can think of any reason we would want to go back to XP. That doesn't mean that I think OS X sucks. I'm enough of an optimist to think that both Vista AND OS X can be good. I also have nothing against Linux. I'm just saying Vista is working well for me.

Also, I feel it necessary to point out that I'm aware Steve Ballmer hasn't retired. The short tempered founder I was referring to was Bill Gates. Steve Ballmer didn't found Microsoft, and yes, Gates is said to have a bad temper.

How to Deal with Something You Dread

2008-10-12T20:11:16Z

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