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Ur table is ready. Right this way,
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
05:00pm 18/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

Ur table is ready. Right this way, sir…

wut r teh speshuls tonite?

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Transporter Malfunction
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
03:00pm 18/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

Transporter Malfunction

macheen needz sum wurk again.

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LEADERSHIP
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
12:00pm 18/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

LEADERSHIP all it takes is someone who follows

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Comic: An Actual, Real Film
  pennyarcaderss
 
12:00am 18/12/2009  
 

 
     

(36 did learn | become instructed)

 
You’re welcome
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
09:00am 18/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

You’re welcome

iz dat child proof and kid proof?

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(7 did learn | become instructed)

 
Pants shame!
  comic_curmudge
 
02:39pm 18/12/2009  
 


Ziggy, 12/18/09

Wow! Like a lot of people, I assumed that Ziggy would make a token response to Pearls Before Swine’s put-pants-on-Ziggy crusade before getting back to the bizarrely optimistic despair that is its stock in trade. But today brings us back to pants, and puts a whole new spin on things! Ziggy is visiting his wizened dry cleaner, who offers to give back the gnomish alopeciac’s trousers — along with his Nehru jacket, a garment that went out of style many years ago. Thus, this panel turns our scorn back upon us. Pants are so out of date, it seems to be saying. Maybe you narrow-minded losers are walking around, your thighs unfairly constricted by fabric tubes; but Ziggy is the new model man, his legs exposed to the open air, as is the style here in the future. You squares with the pants can do what you want. Ziggy won’t be having any of it.

Wizard of Id, 12/18/09

Hurl all the epithets you want at the Wizard of Id — “unfunny,” “irrelevant,” “badly drawn,” “minimizes torture” — but one thing you have to give it credit for is its unflinching attitude towards alcohol. While Hi and Lois, for instance, has gone along to get along, with “Thirsty” Thurston’s gin blossom-scarred nose of old having long ago vanished, the Wizard of Id’s Bung remains on the funny pages as an unrepentant alcoholic, and not the fun, charming kind. Today, for instance, we learn that, in the brief period of time after he awakes from his booze-numbed slumber but before he can stumble down to the bar to start drinking again, his hands are shaking so badly due to the lack of alcohol that he injures himself while attempting to attend to basic grooming. This may shock and horrify you, but anything that leads to awkward conversations along the lines of “Daddy, what’s the DTs?” is OK in my book.

Six Chix, 12/18/09

Speaking of horror, there’s something quite touching about this scene, in which ephemeral snow-lovers trade a last few endearments even as their bodies droop and melt.

Mark Trail, 12/18/09

Sheriff Stogie Q. Doublechin is right! That is a good one! What kind of monster leaves a little boy trapped under a car on the beach? How the hell does a car even get onto a beach on the first place? And would anyone leave a child in the care of this obvious lunatic? No, the sheriff doesn’t think he’ll be following that lead, than you very much. He’ll just stay here with his thumbs hooked into his belt and glare at you there in your cage, mister! Haw haw!

Note just what a state Mark is in, with no less than five hairs somewhat out of place. This is really the most desperate we’ve ever seen him.

Crock, 12/18/09

So, uh, the Lost Patrol, after years of all-male company, has been saved by water and masturbatory fodder? Eh, why not, it’d hardly be the most distasteful Crock ever produced.

 
     

(become instructed)

 
Still more qualified
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
06:00am 18/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

Still more qualified than Dr. Phil

hey! i liek dat sho!

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Video: Christmas Tree Kitteh
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
03:00am 18/12/2009  
 

 
     

(become instructed)

 
#580; In which the Kids come Home
  wondermark
 
08:00am 18/12/2009  
 

it's this thing from when we were ten in which we would take turns playing Duck Hunt and humping the TV. What's that? WELL YOU ASKED FOR DETAILS

 
     

(1 did learn | become instructed)

 
How to Make a Calendar, Part 5
  wondermark
 
09:52am 18/12/2009  
 

Now Put A Bow On It

Continued from Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4</em>

oh what a tangled web etc

Although the printing is complete, and the room no longer smells like denatured alcohol & paint thinner (except for the splash I’ve added to my coffee for a little pick-me-up), there’s a bit more to be done before the calendars are Formally Finished. Once the covers are signed and numbered, all the cards are collated into sets and double-checked to make sure nobody’s getting two Augusts or getting shorted a February. Although I do want to sow a sense of existential ennui among the populace at large, we now have too many external calendar systems for any minor rebellion here to be tremendously effective, and I will save my efforts in that realm for more grandiose schemes.

Last year, we collated the cards by setting the stacks around a table and then continually circling the table over and over, picking up a card from each successive stack like it was the world’s most obsessive comic-convention freebie table. That was a very dizzy way to do things. This year we just kinda put them in a long row and then walked down the row a bunch of times.

you like this fan technique? straight-up ricky jay

With the cards collated, they’re then SEALED FOR YOUR PROTECTION into little capsule units that can be thrust headlong into our shipping workflow:

an opaque paper cover for privacy

And these, along with the easels if desired, are what customers get! We spent the full day yesterday packaging and shipping, and I’m pleased to announce both that: all pending pre-orders have been sent, and all new orders are shipping out immediately. As of this writing, less than two dozen copies remain. Please, if you’ve been on the fence about ordering, don’t delay — I’d hate for you to miss out. UPDATE: You guys are too much. They are all gone!

(I will also be a little sheepish here and say that if they sell out while I’m asleep tonight, and I’m unable to update the store in time, please forgive me if I have to write an apologetic email. Hopefully this won’t happen.) ack

That buzzkill aside! I am so tremendously pleased with how this whole process has gone that I can hardly tell you. (Though you cannot fault me for trying.) Whether you buy a calendar or not, whether this has inspired you to make anything creative of your own or not, whether you’re even the least bit interested in this process or not, I hope you take one key thing away from this entire, long-winded story. I’ll put it on its own line and bold it so you’re sure not to miss it:

You can make something from nothing.

Let me repeat that. You can make something from nothing. The Wondermark Calendar is not a model kit that we assembled from directions. It’s not a box of LEGO® brand interlocking building blocks that we dumped onto the floor and then very precisely made into a spaceship. The LEGO® brand interlocking building blocks that we used were paper and ink. Any meaning that they have been given is meaning that we have fabricated.

You can do this too. I’m not saying you should necessarily make a calendar, or start hunting eBay for a GOCCO, or anything so specific — I’m saying that the tools and the effort and the materials and the sweat that went into our project are nothing my wife and I have a monopoly on. They are not hard to fathom nor out of reach. It just takes work: exposing yourself to ideas, swishing them around with other ideas and original notions, being a bit of a perfectionist at times, and just working at it. I know I’m never so satisfied with my job as when I sit down and make things that used to not exist.

also if you have the right type of hat
(click)

I’m going to stop there; you can run with that ball anywhere you like, or leave it be, as you prefer. I just think it’s neat that there was nothing and then I had some cockamamie idea and figured out where to buy paper and stuff and then, a bunch of man-hours and problem-solving later, there is something. This is a thing we wrestled into existence. If you buy one of our things, you will be getting a tidy little package made of paper, ink, brass, and force of will.

If this calendar stays in your house, in the most quiet stillness of an afternoon when everything is at an ebb — if you get very close, close enough to see the fibers and detect the thin mounding of the ink over the paper — and if you hold your breath and if your refrigerator isn’t on and if the pets are all napping and nobody’s trying to email you right then –

– If the rest of the world is silent, and if the light catches it just perfectly right, I do believe you will see this thing’s heartbeat.

TA DA

Thanks very much for all your kind attention this week, and for your wonderfully flattering patronage. While I was writing this, I went back and checked and it looks like one more has sold. I am serious. Get one now, if ever. UPDATE: They are gone, compadre. Wowsers.


That being said, I understand that this isn’t for everyone, and to those folks, sorry for hammering on this point all week. Thank you, regardless — I will make other things, on other days, for free most of the time, and presumably you will be able to share in those. It’s been a fun week but it ain’t over yet so now I am going to go to bed.</p>
 
     

(become instructed)

 
2009-12-18: Sinfest
  sinfestfeed
 
01:00pm 18/12/2009  
 

Sinfest
Tatsuya Ishida

by Tatsuya Ishida

 
     

(6 did learn | become instructed)

 
….Ahem…
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
05:00pm 17/12/2009  
 

 
     

(become instructed)

 
Warning: Today’s Dick Tracy strip elicits the least unpleasant commentary
  comic_curmudge
 
12:02am 18/12/2009  
 


Dennis the Menace, 12/17/09

I hereby request demand that Dennis the Menace be renamed Henry Mitchell the Lascivious, Menacing Pervert, as today he appears to be insisting that Dennis ensure that sexily emaciated 15-year-old baby-sitter Chloe remain in the Mitchell family employ. I’d say that Henry was merely planning to teach Dennis about sexual objectification early, or perhaps that he had found a new star for his masturbatory reveries, but yesterday we saw him making time at the mall with some non-wife person, so clearly he plans some unseemly, legally actionable advance. This panel is by far the most distasteful thing on today’s comics page.

Mary Worth, 12/17/09

By comparison, today’s Mary Worth is positively innocent, though I do require that Wilbur keep both hands where we can see them. This is literally the twelfth consecutive day Wilbur has spent parked in front of his computer, and many of us were beginning to despair that we’d ever seem a flashback, so today’s sexy thought balloon about Wilbur’s lost love is something of a breath of fresh air, even if it is juxtaposed with a facial expression of Spock-like seriousness. C’mon Wilbur, who could have resisted that pearl necklace, that frilly collar, that fringy jacket? It was the sort of outfit that drove men wild, on whatever alternate-universe 1970s Earth where someone might have actually worn it!

Dick Tracy, 12/17/09

I would like to point out that that the alienating, inhumanely scaled architecture on display in the second panel of today’s Dick Tracy nicely parallels the alienation between long-haired father and long-haired son. I’d also like to point out that, if you want your rage-frenzied classical orchestra conductor dad to stop hitting you, you probably shouldn’t refer to violins as “fiddles.”

Ziggy, 12/17/09

In case you’re wondering what this is about: this is what this is about! I’d like to add that I dearly hope that comics editors really do go work wearing a suit and tie, and that they sit behind a large, imposing desk, and that, when they ask hairless, half-naked weirdos to maybe put on some pants, they do so with an expression that shows that they speak more from sorrow than from anger.

 
     

(become instructed)

 
I’ve been
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
03:00pm 17/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

I’ve been replaced by a machine

iz moar efficient at paperwurk.

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Last thingz i rememberz, someone passing da
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
12:00pm 17/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

Last thingz i rememberz, someone passing da cat nip and den i wakez up here…

musta hadz 2 much takeela az well.

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First time in nearly 24 hrs I get them all asleep at the
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
09:00am 17/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

First time in nearly 24 hrs I get them all asleep at the same time and you wake them up. For your sake something had better be on fire.

such a rude awakening…

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Yeah I’ll get right on that.
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
06:00am 17/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

Yeah I’ll get right on that.

iz sew grate 2 b a kitteh.

Picture by: thomas MG Caption by: dunno source via Our LOL Builder

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Classics: now with favorite buttons!
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
05:59am 17/12/2009  
 


funny pictures of cats with captions

picture: dunno source. lol caption: Mike

We r adding favorite buttons 2 sum classic lolz, so u can favorite dem!

Check awt sum other classic lolz dat nao have favorite buttons!



 
     

(become instructed)

 
Video: Feather Dancing Kittehs
  icanhaschzbrgr
 
03:00am 17/12/2009  
 

 
     

(2 did learn | become instructed)

 
2009-12-17: Sinfest
  sinfestfeed
 
01:00pm 17/12/2009  
 

Sinfest
Tatsuya Ishida

by Tatsuya Ishida

 
     

(2 did learn | become instructed)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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